Feeling Better

Everything is starting to feel more peaceful at home now that Sam’s first birthday is behind us. I think the fact that the weather’s been so sunny since Thursday is probably helping. Nevertheless, this was an important milestone, and the chaotic pain and grief is starting to settle into something more steady and manageable. Granted, this whole grieving process has had so many ups and downs without any logic to it … I could very well face some more difficult times again in the future. But for now, I feel okay.

I’m back to putting some energy into our interior. Next on my list: to hang more frames on the walls. My “Sowing the seeds of love” frame by Thomas Barbey is already in place. I don’t know why I love this picture so much. And I can guarantee you I DID NOT pay anything near the prices listed on the artist’s website. Holy crap! I got it at a craft store in Greensboro, North Carolina about 10 years ago for less than $50, if I remember well. Looks like I got a pretty good deal back then. Now I was thinking “Blown Away” would go nicely together with “Sowing the seeds of love“, so I would have both Paris and London. But there’s no way I could afford it. :-( I didn’t even check out shipping to Belgium. I bet it would double the total. Oh well!

Meanwhile, Jules the cat is still the king of his imaginary castle …

european white interior cat pale northern europe scandinavian style walls curtains big antique cherry wood furniture dining room table chairs living room

We still haven’t figured out how he gets up there. He always seems to do it when we’re not looking!

julesthecat cat on top cabinet cupboard cherry wood dining room furniture cupboard white interior decoration europe european northern scandinavian style

home evening light julesthecat cat on top cabinet cupboard cherry wood dining room furniture cupboard white interior decoration europe european northern scandinavian style

Always staring at Wolf the dog … probably secretly plotting the perfect murder.

home evening light ceiling julesthecat cat on top cabinet cupboard cherry wood dining room furniture cupboard white interior decoration europe european northern scandinavian style

Anyway, September is almost over. It’s been bittersweet. It also made me realize how traumatic it’s been, as I can recall absolutely everything I was doing on most days of this month last year. It’s going to take many years before it all starts to fade, I think. I’m so thankful for the flowers and little keepsakes that people put on Sam’s grave this week. I didn’t think anyone was even going to remember his birthday. (my faith in people clearly needs to go up a notch).

And the sweet card I received from one of my best friends is still standing on the piano in our living room. It will all eventually be neatly stored into Sam’s box. Nothing gets thrown away. ♥