Looking back at 2014

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I spent a couple of hours this morning fixing all my old blog posts that showed small pictures instead of large ones. The old layout I used before December 2014 only allowed small photos, so you could see a difference between old layout posts and new layout posts. It really bothered me. Now it’s all fixed. Hooray! I’d been putting it off for a while. Definitely glad it’s done now!

This forced me to look through all the pregnancy posts. One of the reasons why I had been putting it off. It’s so bittersweet. 2014 was such a happy year, until it all went wrong in September. I miss those 9 months. And I’m so glad that I kept a detailed blog from day one, because I realized when reading it all today how easily we forget things. I had already forgotten so many details; how I felt at certain times, both physically and emotionally. All the dr appointments, the shopping, the nursery, the milestones … *sigh* Tomorrow will be hard. I found out on January 21st 2014 that I was pregnant, so, I can already tell that this coming year will be a constant reminder of “exactly one year ago …“. Since tomorrow will be messed up anyway, I will probably use the occasion to tidy up the nursery. No one has set foot in there in months and it remains forbidden territory for the pets.

As for me: I have practically reached my goal weight. Only 800 grams left to lose. Other than the satisfaction of having lost the weight I had planned to lose, it’s also good to know now that I can actually achieve it. It felt like an impossible task after I gave birth, so I’m sure that having reached my goal now will help me stay relaxed and optimistic if I’m ever pregnant again. I just had to give it enough time. At first I wanted to drop those kilos in the snap of a finger. Especially after having lost our baby, I wanted to erase every trace of pregnancy from my body as quickly as possible. I felt so hurt and frustrated. And then I realized that it was slowly and steadily going down, little by little. All in all, it will have taken a total of 4 months. And that’s not to reach my pre-pregnancy weight, mind you. I don’t want to go down to my start weight because we do plan on having another baby, so I’m allowing myself about 4 extra kilos. I feel like a little extra fat wouldn’t hurt during the first trimester, because that’s when my body felt like it was craving energy for the baby.

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I will start taking diuretics tomorrow which were prescribed by my doctor a couple of weeks ago. I’m four months postpartum, and I’m still dealing with swollen fingers due to water retention. It seems crazy to me, but the doctor said it’s not unheard of. I could have started taking it as soon as he prescribed it, but I wanted to give my body a few extra weeks, just in case it would resolve itself on its own. But no such luck! He also told me to keep my blood pressure in check, because it can cause blood pressure to tumble. I tend to have low blood pressure anyway, so I decided to track it for about a week before I start taking those pills, so that I have a clear picture of what my blood pressure is normally like and so I can spot any difference more easily. He said it will make me pee A LOT. Fun times ahead! Eh.

♥︎ Lisa