I really wanted to take a picture with my big sweater on today. I didn’t have any pictures like that yet. Even with Sam; the timing of that whole pregnancy made me look all Summery most of the time. So I figured it would be interesting to see what my bump really looks like under big Winter clothes. I somehow had the impression when looking at myself in the mirror that this would be my perfect camouflage. But nope, you can definitely see the bump.
And here’s me in lighter, more form fitting clothes:
There’s so much to tell this week. Where to begin?
First of all, I had a scare yesterday. I had some mild food poisoning it seems. I have no idea how in the world that happened! We stayed home for Valentine, I cooked everything myself, and I made sure everything was perfectly fresh and clean and I was so paranoid about cooking everything through and using two sets of utensils to avoid cross-contamination. I mean, it’s ridiculous when I think about which lengths I went through to make sure there would be no issues. And yet it happened … the worst abdominal cramps of my entire life. I just don’t get how this happened. But obviously something severely upset my whole gastrointestinal tract. I seriously thought at one point that I was going into labor. That’s how bad it was. Then I went to the bathroom and instantly felt fine after that. So this whole ordeal only lasted about 30 minutes total. But what in the world was that? I still don’t understand. I think I felt some mild cramping again at night, but fell right back to sleep. And I had the impression this morning that I wasn’t feeling 100%, but overall I’d say I was really quite alright. I went for a nice walk with Wolfie about 2 hours ago and felt absolutely perfect after that. I guess it was no big deal after all. But still, it scared me to death to think that some bacteria or virus or whatever could have harmed my baby. I will definitely mention all my concerns on Wednesday, during our prenatal appointment.
This adds a whole lot of irony to the fact that I’ve been purposely avoiding Gert’s family this week, because his brother was coming back from the Caribbean, right where the Zika virus alert is code orange. lol Okay, maybe that was a bit extreme of me. But I had already told him in advance that because of this virus, I would probably be avoiding him for about 3 to 4 weeks after his return, and that he shouldn’t take it personally. So, I’ve basically cancelled a few dinners already, and I think they’re starting to think I’m crazy with a capital C. I’m just happy right now that Gert is being the most patient and caring husband in the world. Especially after my small meltdown last week …
We were supposed to go swimming. I had my beautiful brand new maternity swimwear ready, my hair was tied in a bun, I was ready to go! But then I decided at the last minute to Google water temperature recommendations during pregnancy … I don’t know if there’s any hard truth to it, but what I found was that anything between 29°C and 36°C is perfectly fine. Anything colder or hotter should be avoided. I already had a bad feeling that the pool would most likely be colder than that. I just remember always feeling cold in that water before, so I looked it up, and sure enough: it was barely 26°C. Pffft. I didn’t want to risk it. Apparently cold water can cause early contractions for some women. Knowing my luck, I’d be one of them! So I decided not to go after all. I felt really bummed. The whole family left without me, and I went for a walk with my dog instead. Boohoo! As the afternoon went by, I started feeling more and more sorry for myself and started thinking about how I had never gone swimming while I was expecting Sam. The closest thing to it was a bath at home, and he absolutely hated it. He was clearly protesting in there, so what was meant to be a nice relaxing bath ended up lasting a quick 10 minutes. lol And that’s when I wondered: what if this baby also hates me being in the water? Would I fall apart in a puddle of tears right there at the pool in front of everyone? Uhm, yes, probably. Maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t go after all. But oh boy, that day and the next few days included were so hard for me. I kept crying on and off. It started to dawn on me that as this pregnancy is progressing, I’m also reliving Sam’s short life. Of course I’m happy for this little one on the way, and I can’t wait to meet him/her. But it seems like happy moments are forever tainted with Sam’s absence. It’s hard.
I don’t think anyone who’s never lost their own child could ever fully grasp how intricate and difficult this all is.
Anyway, moving on to more pregnancy-related updates: it turns out that week 18 did mark the beginning of me clearly feeling the baby move. The doctor we saw during our last appointment guesstimated based on my stature and the baby’s position that I would start feeling it during week 18. She was spot on right. Bravo! So, I’ve started to keep track of when I feel it. Every.single.time. I basically mark a blue cross in my agenda at the exact time of the day it happens. Sometimes I’m still not 100% sure, so I add a question mark behind it. But generally I know for sure. There’s actually really no use in me tracking it this early on. But I figured it would be good for me start as soon as possible so I get the hang of it and can maybe start noticing some patterns, so hopefully I’ll be well used to it all by the time an accurate kick count does become relevant.
I really can’t wait for this week’s ultrasound! I’m hoping they won’t find any heart malformation or anything like that, and that the baby will measure perfectly on track, with a nice strong heartbeat and some visible movements. The fun part will be to find out the gender! Oh, I can’t wait. I’ve been thinking it’s a boy, but then I started wondering if maybe I’m wrong and it’s a girl instead. Gosh, I really don’t know. I don’t care either way, I’ll be happy with either! But I want to know so we can start buying more specific clothes and finally decide on a name.
I will definitely post an update on Wednesday when we’re back home from the hospital. Meanwhile, I’m still counting down to June 27th …