Ok, it’s April already. Looks like this year will be flying by again. It’s good riddance for March though, because March royally sucked. So let’s forget it ever happened. It’s still freezing cold right now. Whatever happened to Spring? I see local fashion blogs posting Spring outfits with light jackets and short sleeves and stilettos with no tights. Uhm, no. There’s no way any of those girls actually walk around dressed so lightly at the moment. For the record, it was exactly 7°C today, with one hell of a wind chill that made it feel like 3 or 4°C. Yeah. Even the dog knows better!
My outfits consist of sweaters and a parka. Haha! Keeping it real. And warm :-)
First things first, a quick update since my last health-related post: all the results came back clear, which is a big relief. Although, in a way, I almost wish they had found a little something that could have explained why we lost Sam just a few days shy of his due date. So that maybe if we could fix it now, I would know for sure that it won’t be a problem again in the future. But since nothing was found, it basically confirms that what happened was plain bad luck. It couldn’t have been prevented, and no one can prevent it from happening again. So, a new pregnancy will be like taking a leap of faith and hoping for the best.
Anyway, after that was all done and behind us, we left home to spend the weekend in the South of Belgium, a couple of kilometres away from the French border. It was organized by Gert’s band. Their main purpose was to practice new songs the entire weekend. I honestly hadn’t planned to go, but then Gert convinced me and I ended up agreeing at the last minute. I hadn’t seen any of them since losing Sam, and I was dreading it.
(Warning: lots of pictures ahead)
Wolf wasn’t quite sure what to think of his car seat. It was his first time in it.
About two hours later, we arrived to this pretty awesome room:
It had its own bathroom and separate toilet. Really nice!
There was plenty of space for Wolfie to have his own little corner …
lol He looks so proud! With his own mirror and everything :-)
Setup approved ☺︎
I’m not going to post pictures of people who were present. Because even though they’d probably be cool with it, we’re not THAT close, so I wasn’t planning to ask everyone individually. There were 14 of us total. Good thing the house was huge! It had something like 8 bedrooms and 9 bathrooms, and a total of 3 floors with a fitness area, two kitchens, two living rooms, and a gaming room. It definitely didn’t feel crowded.
People obviously felt awkward around me, and the topic of Sam was completely avoided, even though it was clearly the elephant in the room. Only one guy brought it up when I arrived and told me how saddened he was by what happened, but he had had one beer too many, and so that quickly fell flat :-/ I couldn’t stop thinking about Sam and the alternate reality that would be unfolding there if he was with us. We had said a few times that the next weekend away with the band would be spent together with him. So the fact that it turned out to be pretty much the exact same weekend as before I was pregnant, REALLY sucked. I felt like crap, and I doubt I was a pleasant company to anyone. I almost randomly started crying during two dinners, and I felt completely detached from most of the conversations that were taking place. I like to think that I’ve overcome most of it by now, but there’s definitely something broken in me that will never be fixed.
Anyway, 90% of everyone’s time was spent practicing new songs. So I was kind of on my own most of the time anyway. I had hoped for a decent wifi connection to keep me busy, but alas, it was quite weak and miserable. Which basically meant I had to keep myself busy like in the good old days. My first plan was to go hiking with Wolf …
The weather was sunny and seemed nice enough. I took a few pictures around the house, and as I got far enough to see the entire property, I realized how big a farm it’s actually part of. It was cold as f*ck though! The wind was freezing and it was so unpleasant to walk. Wolf’s nose started dripping and his eyes were all teary. That’s when I decided it wasn’t worth risking him to get sick, and headed back inside.
Can you believe this is only the upper floor where our room was? So much space!
^^ The cute entry to our bedroom
I tried out the gym, out of utter desperation.
My little workout buddy ♥︎
I’m so untoned, it’s not even funny.
Ready for a shower, but a puppy hug first ♥︎
So, a couple of days later, it was time to go home!
He was dead tired! I’m not even sure of what, because he basically slept for 3 days straight lol Laziest dog ever.
I’m back home now with the worst cold. Figures! Half the people were sick, and of course, when you put 14 people in one house with half of them coughing and sneezing all over the place, they are bound to infect the healthy half. Pffft. It really sucks. My throat hurts so bad right now, I can hardly swallow or talk. *sigh* Wish me a quick recovery! I hate feeling like this :-(
Sorry I’ve been mute this past week. I had a bit of a health scare and underwent a biopsy. The doctor assured me it was no big deal, but I already had visions of cancer and a dramatic ending before the results came back a few days later and were all clear. Whew! Big relief!
Still some worries about Wednesday, as I’ll have to go back for some sort of detailed ultrasound of the veins in and around the uterus. Not my idea of a fun day. But I’d rather go and know everything there is to know before we venture into a new pregnancy. Fingers crossed for good results. I’m such a pessimist these days. I figure if there’s anything that can go wrong, it WILL go wrong.
Now here’s someone who has no concept of stress and worries:
Good morning! It’s freezing outside, the grass is looking a bit white, but at least the sun is finally shining here. We were stuck with dark weather for two weeks. Yikes.
Wolf – our new little chihuahua friend – is doing very well. We’ve had him for about 5 weeks now, and he has learned all the good manners I had hoped for. No more accidents on the floor; he neatly does his business on the newspaper corner we’ve set up for him. I really pushed him to use it because he completely refuses to go outside in bad weather, and since bad weather is all we get here, there was no other option but to have him do his thing indoors.
It’s a bit more work on my part, because I have to clean it up right away every single time. But it does have its advantages: clean yard, clean paws, clean floors. I still push him to go out whenever I can, because a bit of fresh air is necessary. But at least it’s not a constant worry anymore.
He and Gert have both warmed up to each other:
^^ Such a loving father! Haha!
Wolf used to completely ignore him in the beginning. I think it’s due to the fact that he’s with me 24/7, while Gert comes and goes, and is never very busy with him. I feed him, play with him, go to places with him, talk to him all day … so yeah. I’m glad he’s bonding more with Gert now!