Good God, it’s almost Christmas

Jesus Christ, I think it’s time for me to admit to myself that I simply do not enjoy this particular season. It has never been the same again since Sam passed away. Third Christmas without him. Still hoping no one will send us a Christmas card with a picture of their baby on it; I still have a hard time with those. I realize that my lack of festive updates also probably makes me the crappiest blogger out there, because everyone else has been sharing wonderful Christmas themed pictures for a solid month now, and I just cannot be bothered!

Baking? Nope!
Cooking? Nope!
Decorating? Bare minimum!
Gift shopping? Bare minimum, and strictly online.
Christmas movies on TV? ZAP!!!!
I don’t own any Christmas themed sweaters or dresses, and have no plans of purchasing any. Waste of money, I tell you.

Maybe Christmas and New Year will get better again in the future. But for now, the holiday season leaves me feeling empty.

Meanwhile, I’ve been thinking about which direction I want this blog to take as of next year (in other words, next week 😛 ). I feel like it’s time for a change. Of course I will still update this website. I love it. I may not always have as much time for it as I’d like to, but I still love my little piece of internet and would never delete it. So, no worries about that. But after all the lengthy pregnancy updates, the baby updates, the random reviews and thoughts here and there, I feel like it’s sort of lacking substance. It was fun sharing my personal life for a while, and also quite therapeutic for a solid year, and I suppose I will continue to include it in some way, but maybe not as the main focal point. Especially with Emery growing up. It’s all well and good now that he’s still a baby, but I can see that this might not be the best idea a few years down the road. There’s something about your kid’s privacy that’s kind of sacred, you know?

I have a few ideas in mind for the future of this website. The old content will remain, and any future change will be slow and gradual. I might start playing around with the code and design in the next few months, so don’t worry if you happen to catch it in a funky moment.

Now, in case I don’t get to post any more updates this coming week: I want to go ahead and wish all my readers a cozy Christmas, and a wonderful New Year 2017! Here’s hoping next year will be a year of good health for you and your loved ones. That’s the most important! The rest is superfluous.🌹

Merry Christmas 2015

Is it too late to wish you a merry Christmas?

chihuahua christmas hat tiny small tree dog puppy cute outfit clothes 2015 pure breed short hair smooth coat beige cream white

I tried so hard to give a shit this year, but then I obviously failed miserably. I’m just glad we were invited to my brother-in-law’s place on Christmas eve, so at least I didn’t have to plan or organize anything myself. I had already decided that we wouldn’t be inviting anyone over anyway. So this kind of solved it perfectly. Now Gert wants to invite his parents over on New Year’s eve, and I’m just like “yeah, no.” I’m sorry, it’s nothing against them personally. I do enjoy their company. But I was just really REALLY looking forward to a nice cozy pyjama evening with lots of finger food in front of the TV.

I got to see everybody’s lovely family pictures with their children and babies in front of their Christmas tree plastered all over the internet. Just what I needed! 😒 Ever since Sam passed away, I just can’t deal with happy family portraits anymore. I guess that’s the cross I’m doomed to bear for the rest of my life now. The fact that our family portraits, no matter how many children we have in the future, will never be complete. There will always be a little boy missing by our side. And it doesn’t get easier with time. When I think of how big he would be right now, and how much fun he would have had playing with his new toys … It chokes me up so badly that I have to block those thoughts out of my head and quickly think of something else. Sometimes I manage, sometimes I don’t.

I put quite a lot of effort into Christmas and New Year’s celebrations last year. I guess I felt like I had to force it and fake it, just to get me through the pain of it all. Now that I’m in a less extreme survival mode, I basically just feel like not putting any energy into any of it. I hardly found any motivation to put a decent outfit together on Christmas Eve. My hair looked kinda shitty, my makeup was very basic. And my brother-in-law’s Christmas tree was all black with black Christmas ornaments and everything, which I found ironically appropriate for me that day.

So I basically have zero pictures of our Christmas this year. Maybe I will take some on New Year. After all, I am pretty fucking happy to see 2015 go! What a shitty year it was! Good riddance 2015. You were CRAP. 💩

Christmas is in the house

Pffft. The Christmas tree is up. What a chore. I thought last year was bad, since that was our first Christmas without Sam, and then I assumed this Christmas would be more fun like before. But nope. It still sucks. And while my grief and sadness have improved immensely in the past 12 months, I just realized while putting up the Christmas decoration how little I give a shit. I’m actually quite surprised about that, because I was genuinely looking forward to this year’s celebrations. Maybe it’s also my overall lack of energy at the moment. I don’t know. I just really cannot be bothered.

I’m loving our interior though. I keep improving it constantly and I still have tons of ideas that I would like to add little by little.

Christmas interior 2015 tree gold white pale colors classic european home living room dining room open plan ikea seats

Christmas interior 2015 tree gold white pale colors classic european home living room dining room open plan ikea seats

So this year’s tree is all gold. It’s a first. I usually do gold and red, but God, I’m so sick of it. I should specify that this is my actual childhood tree. The one I’ve been seeing for the past 25 years, every freaking Christmas. My mom gave it to me when I moved out on my own. I think she was sick of it too lol Then when I moved in with Gert, we ditched his ridiculous miniature tree and put up this big one instead. And so the tree lives on … Twenty five years and counting. ** banging head on the table **

I didn’t even add half the decoration I own, which is so unlike me. I put up the nativity crib for about a minute and then put it back in its box. It’s even older than the tree lol I’m so so sick of it all.

I’m still torn about our Christmas cards. I used to take a portrait each year and I put so much love and effort into it. First it was me and my dog, then my dog died, and it was me and Gert, and then me and Gert and the cat. And then our baby died … and for the very first time, I sent store bought Hallmark cards. I went through the motions last year like a real zombie. My heart wasn’t into it. I was so sure I’d have the happiness and enthusiasm back this year. But I’m disappointed to see that I don’t. Gert wants to take a cute picture of our dog Wolf with his tie and a Christmas hat. I don’t know. Pfffft. We’ll see.

Okay. I sound like a real joy to be around with right now! Haha! Real Christmas spirit right here!

Honestly, I’m just looking forward to long cozy pyjama evenings in front of the TV with Gert and the pets. And good food. Lots of good food!

Santa santaclause clause egg figures matryoshka russian wooden dolls

Christmas cozy winter interior decoration white walls living dining room open plan house european pale pastels wood

Our Christmas Week

This time of the year is always so busy! I finally had time today to upload all our pictures from this past week. Here’s a small selection (still picture heavy though).

Let’s start with Christmas Eve, which was spent at our home, together with some of Gert’s closest family.

christmas eve evening tree cozy winter festivities celebration interior decoration livingroom red stockings socks lights

calm before the storm:
christmas eve evening tree cozy winter festivities celebration interior decoration livingroom red candles lights
during the storm:

I cooked absolutely nothing myself

christmas eve evening winter stone grill easy lazy cooking meat dinner idea melted cheese

On Christmas Day, we went to my mom’s place for a three course meal:

christmas day appetizers family cozy elixir bottle water bowl floating tealights

closeup macaroons christmas dessert macarons

miniature pastries dessert european mini cakes delicious food inspiration idea

^^ I love how we’re all wearing black pants and matching colors like it was on purpose lol

And yesterday, we finally got some snow! The weather was terrible and dark. But today was so sunny and beautiful …

^^ ice on the windows

cat winter window snow view street outside inside indoor outdoor upstairswinter street snow suburbs neighborhood houses homes beautiful view wonderland europe belgium european

♥︎ Lisa

Merry Christmas 2014

miniature mini christmas tree snow fake decoration home interior fireplace small white winter
cat nose mouth closeup funny cute fur pattern colors julesthecat whiskers

I haven’t had time to upload our actual Christmas Day pictures yet, which shows just how busy we’ve been! Like it each year, it involved a lot of driving to different places and a lot, I repeat *A LOT* of food. Overall, I would say everything went according to plan. No major stress and no blunders. And we even got all our Christmas cards sent in time. Success!

Jules the cat hasn’t been too bored himself either. He got himself into trouble every single day of this past week …

burned burnt whiskers cat closeup

cat tucked into bed sheets comforter cute funny adorable

Among his most memorable moments:
– burned his whiskers by checking out candles from too close (no worries, he’s fine :-p)
– climbed into the Christmas tree, all the way to the top, which ultimately made the whole thing fall over. Twice.
– got into the dryer and then refused to come out for an hour
– sneaked into the washroom and managed to get himself locked up for 3 hours until I finally noticed (oy)
– buried himself into our bed and slept there a whole afternoon

And finally, some important news: we called and made an appointment with the chihuahua breeder! We’ll be going there on Monday to check out the dogs she has available right now. She’s got a few puppies ready for adoption, and one adult. She’s also expecting a new litter to be born in the next few days. So that’s pretty exciting, as we may be lucky and get to see them if they’re born by then. I’m definitely not ruling out the adult male she has though. We’ll see!

♥︎ Lisa