Welcome Emery!

Yet another weekly update … but what a special one! Emery arrived safely on Tuesday, June 28th 2016 @ 2:19PM (Belgian time), weighing a perfectly average 3kg and measuring an equally statistical average of 50cm. Not big, not small, just in between :-)

I thought I knew what to expect from getting induced, since it had already happened once with Sam after we found out he had passed away. But this second induction ended up being a completely different experience. Things went much faster and they didn’t let nature take its course as much, as there was a live baby to worry about this time. They kept an eye on him through the monitor from the minute I checked in on Monday evening. You have no idea how happy and relieved I was to walk in there and get settled in my room, waiting for Emery’s arrival. I couldn’t have handled another week at home. I would have gone nuts for sure.

The staff was so great and kind. I remembered a few of them from when Sam was stillborn and mentioned it to them. We started talking and had some long conversations during the night while labor was slowly building up. Then the biggest coincidence happened when the last midwife started her shift … the very same midwife who was by my side when Sam was born. My labor escalated so quickly a few hours later that she ended up being there when Emery was born too. What were the odds?

Labor itself was an absolute perfection. Fast, easy, no trouble at all. I was up on my feet a few hours later, and now – barely 6 days after he was born – I feel 100% healed already. Gert and I stole the hospital’s sanitary pads and postpartum mesh undies like nobody’s business, and now here I am with supplies I don’t even need. Haha!!! 😂 What a difference with the first time around. It took me about a month to feel somewhat okay back then. Granted, Sam was a BIG baby, which I guess made a huge difference in how my body coped. I thought for sure Emery would be bigger than he ended up being, so I had already prepared myself mentally for a month of postpartum physical struggles. But nope. I’m pretty sure that even my belly will be nice and flat again much faster than last time. I just need to be patient and wait for the doctor’s green light in 6 weeks before I can start working out. I wish I could start right now!

Emery is the sweetest, most gentle and calm little baby ever. He hardly cries at all. Only when he wants to let us know that it’s time for his feeding. We keep a close eye on him though, so we generally recognize the signs before it escalates to heavy screaming. What a dream! I couldn’t have wished for a better baby after everything we’ve been through. He was hyper active in my belly, so I was reassured most of the time that everything was okay. And now that he’s born, he doesn’t stress me out one bit with his easy going personality. It’s been so emotional. Even during my hospital stay, I couldn’t help but stare at him and recognize Sam in him. They look so much alike. The only difference is their size. Sam was a solid little guy with strong hands and large feet. He barely fit in newborn clothes and none of the little hats I had bought for him fitted, which broke my heart even more in the midst of our tragedy. Emery has a very similar face, same hair color, same extremely light blond eyebrows and lashes; almost white. The main physical difference is that he’s smaller. I wish I could see them interact together now. I would carry Sam on my lap and we’d look at Emery together chilling in his little lazy seat. It hurts.

Now of course I keep worrying that he will suddenly die on me and that one day I’ll find him dead in his crib. I’ve heard of people around us who have lost their baby to S.I.D.S. and it terrifies me. We tried out the breathing and movement monitor the other day and I’m sorry to report that it’s a pain in the butt. For some reason it keeps making this super annoying clicking noise every second or so. Emery’s room is right next to us, and that stupid clicking keeps us all three awake. I ended up turning the freaking thing off. I need to sit down today and read the manual more thoroughly. Maybe there’s a way to turn that feature off. At least I hope so.

We’ve been home for several days now and we’re still working on improving our new routine, but we’re getting there. Gert is hands down the best dad ever!

He organized everything here at home before Emery and I came back from the hospital. I don’t know how I would have survived those first few days without him. We’re both still quite exhausted at the moment. I’m figuring out how to reorganize my days around Emery’s schedule. I got a little slow ordering our birth announcement cards. I was finally able to mail them today, so hopefully most people will receive their card tomorrow. Even this blog post took me several days to put together, whereas before it took me a grand total of 30 to 40 minutes max. Haha! We’re getting there though :-)

So here we are … new life, new routine. Everything feels so different now. In a good way, of course! 💕